Used to love you — October 26, 2015

Used to love you

a7beaa141070612718bce67b5879ca73I don’t know why I get tears in my eyes whenever I think about you maybe it’s because I actually loved you back.

Here I am sitting in my bed with a mug of coffee in my hand smiling at all the memories we shared.

You wouldn’t fight with me even when I will tell you to, why? Because you loved me and didn’t wanna fight with me. You would keep on telling me “I love uh” even when I would tell you that I don’t want you to say it, so why did you keep on saying it? Because you actually meant it.

I remember when I asked you what you wanna do when you meet me. And you answered you wanna hug me. Tight. And what did I do in return? I scolded you for saying it.

We would fight every time, oh no! not we, you never did. I would fight with you and force you to leave and yet you would come back every time, why? Because you really did love me and did not want to leave me. I know boys have a lot of ego yet when I would tell you if you have any ego you will not message me and yet you did. You were willing to give it up and all of it just for me.

We would have nothing to talkĀ about yet you wanted to talk to me because you missed me more them I missed you.

Then why did I force you leave and now when you are not gonna come back I am missing you and realizing how much you actually loved me.

I do realize and I did realized it a long time back when we were on good terms and you used to tell me how much you loved me, that how much I actually did love you.

Then why was I reluctant? Because I was dead scared of loving.

And now that I have faced it all, I cannot stop the tears.